Three Reasons to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Past Failures
Updated: Jul 2, 2019
Who hasn’t made mistakes? Once we stop and realize that life is a journey, it should become clear to us that there are lots of adventures to explore.
Many adventures we experience bring success and some bring disappointment. As we take steps to explore new things and purpose to achieve our dreams and goals, they may be our best motivation to keep moving forward!
Managing fear includes taking calculated risks. Calculated Risks involve exposing yourself to loss after understanding all of the advantages and disadvantages of the decisions you intend to make. Even after this, people still become gripped with fear and will say things like, “I have to go with my gut feeling”. I, myself have been guilty of this one.
I remember teaching a job workshop to a class of young men who were ex-offenders. We discussed all of the basics of job preparedness, vocational training, resume development, interviewing techniques and job search strategies. Then, their biggest fear was expressed, “what if we still don’t get a job”. My answer in short was, you took the chance to improve your life and yes, you’ve made mistakes. Now make a decision to move past that! You may not get the first, second or third job. But if you don’t quit and follow through, you will get a job! DO NOT let your past haunt you!
Fear is indiscriminate and comes to everyone, which is why you should not let it stop you.
It has been said that the acronym fear is:
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
There will always be fears. We will always encounter resistance and opposition to what we do and when things don’t go as planned, realize that you can learn from this.
I’ve found these three factors to be quite effective to stop you from beating yourself up:
1. Determine to Believe in Yourself - Having a healthy view of yourself is essential to you succeeding. Speak aloud to hear yourself say what you desire for your end result. Many top selling motivational speakers use this as a strategy, but this concept has been around since bible days. This in itself speaks volumes as to its effectiveness.
2. Visualize it! See yourself free of any guilt or shame over the past - This may mean pasting pictures of yourself laughing, smiling and achieving the goals you desire. The concept of seeing yourself happy and free of thinking about mistakes you’ve made are extremely effective and produce a sense of peace and well-being. Envisioning yourself successful is an excellent meditation tool.
3. Be Good to Yourself/Stay Healthy - Oftentimes, it can be easy to do unhealthily things when, we feel we have failed. Things like over-eating or drinking and the sulking. This can be destructive and counterproductive. It’s so important to be good yourself. You are the only person like you and because you are unique, with a distinct fingerprint, you should be the best YOU. Motivate yourself to go work out, take a walk in the park, start a new friend group, read a good book, get a massage, or take a yoga class. It doesn’t matter the exercise, just be healthy and smart about what you do.
Our failures can be our best teachers. It only shows us where we missed it, but it also inspires us do it better the next time. And of course, in the process of doing along with the element of time, we improve and can become very good – whether in school, our 1st, 2nd or 3rd job (or job interview), or as a business owner.
So, if you have a burning passion, go for it, take the calculated risks. Push past your fears. Don’t just sit on the sideline. You owe it to yourself to go for your best life.
Author of the Course, Best Practices in Workforce Development
CEO, NAC Consultant Services
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carolyn Bledsoe is a veteran in the workforce development sector. Her expertise expands to include agency and program workforce development issues and problem solving. Carolyn is CEO of NAC Consultants, specializing in the enhancement of workforce development structure and support for staff and program participants. Contact Ms. Bledsoe for a complimentary consultation to assist you in better managing to your outcomes for success.
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